I havn't posted a blog post in a while. Also, I havn't written in my folder which is something I used to do all the time and I'm afraid It's just going to wastful blank pages now because putting words down on paper has not seemed such a priority lately.
My head is spinning with ALL KINDS of colours bouncing and spiraling into thoughts and emotions.
My last post was about Ed, so I suppose it would only be polite to start off telling you how out-of-this-world, stupidly-beautifully-amazing, crazy-electrifying-talented his performance was. There was an atmosphere in the room of sheer content and the buzz of awe filled everyone's lungs; sweat dripped off everyone arm to arm in the room. Naturally, my friends and I arrived an hour early to be first in the que and so, we were able to stand at the front of the gig right infront of Ed. Something I admired was how his "shh"-ing ability was the only sound he has to whisper in order to get the whole audience silently waiting for his next song. The concept was that he has put so much time and passion into writing meaningful songs, we should at least not talk over him while he lets out his message to us. His words were "shhh, alright guys, we're gunna have some mental times tonight, but for now, let's just chill and listen yeah? okay here we go..." However, when he wanted a response and a vibrant crowd, everyone knew exactly when to liven up, throw our arms in the air, and sing at the top of our lungs.
Finally, his oncore was more spectacular and unusual that anything we could have predicted from a singer. He came into the middle of the crowd (with his 3 massive bodyguards), ushered the crowd to sit down by a wave of his arms, and somehow got the whole room which was packed full of sweaty, shoulder-to-shoulder, varried stereotypes of fans to sit as he stood on a stool patiently. Every pair of eyes stared up at his glowing ginger hair under the spotlight, and we all sat and waited for the music to touch our souls for the last time. He had no microphone; he had no guitar; he relied upon the crowd being apsalutely silent before he began, otherwise the effect of the midroom-acapella-oncore would have been ruined. The song he sang was called the Parting Glass and it has not been officially recorded yet. He turned slowly in a circle, singing out the words "Goodnight and joy be with you all" as if we were all sat around a campfire; we all knew each other, we all connected in that moment.
That is why I love music.
Also, I've been struggling recently with a number of issues I probably have just created in my head to tick the boxes of being a hormonal-stressy-unpredictable-dramatic-teenage girl. Nevertheless, I still have these feelings and I want to understand myself better in order to accept this. When I'm feeling lonely, naturally I judge myself. What am I doing wrong? When I think about change, I naturally feel angry and wish I could prevent people from leaving; the sun from hiding; sleep deprivation from getting the best of me. But some things are just not in my hands. I know I should be patient. I know I shouldn't overthink the past. I know I shouldn't give in to temptation. There are a list of things I KNOW are right, but I'm human. These things won't always match what path I decide to take.
However, happiness is the key and what I am always seeking to find in the littlest of things to brighten my day. Today, lying on my trampoline with my cat under the sun made me happy and exciting for everything I have planned for the next few weeks after my last few exams. Also, I found a song which I completely related to and has such a possitive beat to it. It's called "Sexy dizzy" by Leddra Chapman who has co-wrote songs with Ed Sheeran and has a beautiful voice. Here's the acoustic version:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OZZ71H_O5II&feature=related
Every day of my summer holidays, starting from next wednesday ( last exam finishes at 10:00) I will aim to find something that makes me happy that is completely new and fresh. I will do many things I have never tried before and I will be influenced by culture and sunshine. I can't wait.
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